i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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