i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
