I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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