Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
