i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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