I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
