Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
