I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
