do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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