direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
