Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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