none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
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