New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
