I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
