I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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