I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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