Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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