Screwed.edu
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
