do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
