so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
