PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
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