On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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