Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
