He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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