i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize