Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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