I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
