I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
