Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
