she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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