the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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