Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
