NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Your cock deserves a montage
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
