I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
we're so committed to being not committed
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