Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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