Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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