I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
