Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize