I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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