Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
