and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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