we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
