somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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