walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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