ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
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I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
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I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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