My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
