Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
