I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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