he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
