You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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