I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
