Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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