we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
