Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
