Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
