your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I want to make a zoo with you.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish