Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.

  (317): View more from Indiana

  And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening. (317): And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt http://tfl.nu/9n2q
  Replies (13) Good night (2219) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16 http://tfl.nu/rugk
  Replies (17) Good night (1262) Bad night (3569)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity. http://tfl.nu/izk8
  Replies (66) Good night (675) Bad night (4821)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I. http://tfl.nu/6sde
  Replies (9) Good night (7051) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face. http://tfl.nu/ce47
  Replies (74) Good night (2481) Bad night (9113)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER. http://tfl.nu/3m46
  Replies (23) Good night (2263) Bad night (3809)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing http://tfl.nu/m3tl
  Replies (8) Good night (2311) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant http://tfl.nu/nhig
  Replies (5) Good night (669) Bad night (1308)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head http://tfl.nu/qmtv
  Replies (18) Good night (1460) Bad night (1962)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me. http://tfl.nu/il2t
  Replies (8) Good night (2391) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together. http://tfl.nu/j4c1
  Replies (11) Good night (1552) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk http://tfl.nu/wvk1
  Replies (6) Good night (602) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs. http://tfl.nu/5llv
  Replies (10) Good night (694) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober http://tfl.nu/1g6r
  Replies (4) Good night (1094) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet? http://tfl.nu/zkp2
  Replies (6) Good night (422) Bad night (271)

Randomize