I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?