Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .

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  (330): I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia . http://tfl.nu/fovz
  Replies (12) Good night (1525) Bad night (2314)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.

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  (317): Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband. http://tfl.nu/gy79
  Replies (10) Good night (1972) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.

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  (337): it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots. http://tfl.nu/c5aw
  Replies (33) Good night (4943) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.

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  (607): If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock. http://tfl.nu/sga2
  Replies (66) Good night (5346) Bad night (1539)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.

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  (248): i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding. http://tfl.nu/2d2l
  Replies (35) Good night (1611) Bad night (6572)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze

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  (224): Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze http://tfl.nu/j7ix
  Replies (14) Good night (5246) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.

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  (408): After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex. http://tfl.nu/hxmy
  Replies (20) Good night (1487) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.

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  (516): Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper. http://tfl.nu/j9dy
  Replies (7) Good night (1637) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.

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  (317): I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes. http://tfl.nu/hbk8
  Replies (5) Good night (540) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!

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  (704): To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast. (704): Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger! http://tfl.nu/sya3
  Replies (8) Good night (1412) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster

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  (315): There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster http://tfl.nu/nm8t
  Replies (2) Good night (1037) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"

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  (916): you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances" http://tfl.nu/1xse
  Replies (2) Good night (1070) Bad night (276)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Something about Sunday night screams phone sex

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  (443): Something about Sunday night screams phone sex http://tfl.nu/g1ms
  Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed

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  (606): You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed http://tfl.nu/ihu1
  Replies (2) Good night (431) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.

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  (571): My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous. (703): Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill. http://tfl.nu/6yt0
  Replies (0) Good night (566) Bad night (292)

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