Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.

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(248): I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out. http://tfl.nu/085c

Replies (2) Good night (634) Bad night (2403)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT

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(412): WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT http://tfl.nu/7f7v

Replies (34) Good night (7403) Bad night (1142)
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(410): View more from Maryland

He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.

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(410): He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college. http://tfl.nu/mdh1

Replies (25) Good night (1270) Bad night (3834)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.

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(337): Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm. http://tfl.nu/whuj

Replies (39) Good night (7597) Bad night (1276)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway

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(443): Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway http://tfl.nu/al82

Replies (15) Good night (3787) Bad night (1014)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.

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(803): It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/hg6l

Replies (37) Good night (9499) Bad night (1344)
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(416): View more from Toronto

He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers

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(416): He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers http://tfl.nu/ldwb

Replies (15) Good night (5019) Bad night (1508)
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(970): View more from Colorado

We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.

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(970): We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers. http://tfl.nu/cjb4

Replies (10) Good night (4011) Bad night (1396)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.

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(860): So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out. http://tfl.nu/xnc4

Replies (11) Good night (5437) Bad night (1259)
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(661): View more from California

Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw

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(661): Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw http://tfl.nu/sucz

Replies (6) Good night (1651) Bad night (880)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?

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(503): Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I? http://tfl.nu/fev7

Replies (5) Good night (520) Bad night (928)
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(850): View more from Florida

You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.

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(850): You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster. http://tfl.nu/k8oo

Replies (2) Good night (1423) Bad night (427)
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(847): View more from Illinois

bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.

(309): View more from Illinois

May the force be with you.

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(847): bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died. (309): May the force be with you. http://tfl.nu/776r

Replies (4) Good night (1188) Bad night (435)
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(571): View more from Virginia

I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."

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(571): I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar." http://tfl.nu/n1ur

Replies (4) Good night (518) Bad night (264)
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(509): View more from Washington

You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.

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(509): You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex. http://tfl.nu/4517

Replies (1) Good night (819) Bad night (211)

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