I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.