Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
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She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
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Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!