Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...

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(207): View more from Maine

so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.

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(714): View more from California

You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(907): View more from Alaska

We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence

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(847): View more from Illinois

As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.

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