i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.