I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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