People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
