i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
