Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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