The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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