the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
