I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
