everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
