Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
