why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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