i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
