I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize